Note: All names have been changed to protect the identity of the people involved.
Ni Hao! (Hello in Mandarin)
Disclaimer-this is MY personal journey and it should be just that. What decisions my husband and I made were for us and don't necessarily fit with those of the readers'.
I was asked to tell you our story as we travel the road to China and our future child. Every few months I will bring you another segment and hopefully some news but it will be about the bond that is forming now.
I want to keep this lighthearted and an easy read. (If I dwell too much on the long wait, I get sad and aggravated.)
My husband and I are what in "adoption speak" is considered a "waiting family". This means our dossier (lots and lots of paperwork) has been completed and it has been logged in with the Chinese governmental agency that handles adoptions (CCAA).
Our log in date (LID) is December 13, 2006. As of the end of March, 2008 the placements are completed through those logged in through January 9, 2006. The review room has processed dossiers that were logged in as of October 31, 2006.
For a reference point the CCAA matched five (5) days in an entire months' period. Yes, it is a slow process.
So, what brought us to the point of where we wait today? My husband and I were married in October of 2004 and since it was a second marriage for both, we were older and were hoping to conceive right away. Unfortunately, that was not meant to be.
(I have a family history of females who have challenges reproducing. Yes, my mother was one of nine, but my sisters and I are five years apart-not planned. My dad still has the papers to prove it wasn't his swimmers, either! In addition, I have aunts who had multiple miscarriages and stillbirths.)
I had a feeling that this would be a difficult process and had told my husband while we were dating my circumstances and he was okay with it.
We visited with my OB/GYN in May of 2005 and she put me on Clomid, and that didn't work. So she referred us to the infertility clinic at University Hospitals. We were assigned to Dr. Smith and not knowing too much about him were put at ease with his personality. After lots of blood and fluids being drawn from both us it was determined that it was my body that had the issues.
In addition, they discovered fibroid tumors. The tumors were removed in October then every month brought a round of ultrasounds, blood draws and monitoring. In addition I did a few more cycles of Clomid and then did a few cycles of Ovidrel (its "great fun" to inject your stomach with a syringe filled with a cold fluid).
In addition, I even did a few months of acupuncture and I HATE needles. (However, the practitioner was great and my body did respond to things she said it would.)
We decided to give it a year and going in we had agreed that we would not do IUI or IFV. (Financially those procedures were not an option and mentally and physically I could see what it was doing to women at the infertility clinic and it tore my heart out.)
Much as we liked Dr. Smith and knew he could work miracles we were decided that we didn't want a "Frankenstein baby" nor did his wine cellar need any more additions, at least from us.
Of course, during this time I got more advice than I ever wanted or needed. For those of you who ever had challenges conceiving I am sure you have heard them all!
"You've got to keep your legs up in the air for 20 minutes", "no hot tubs", "relax", "eat oysters", "try different positions", etc. The other thing that I now find amusing is that women had no problem stopping me in the grocery store or other public places and freely giving advice.
Despite our best tries things did not work as one would have liked. But, that doesn't mean we couldn't become parents another way.
Next-the decision to adopt.
Adopting a Chinese Baby - Part 2
An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break. (Ancient Chinese Legend)
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