Have you recently jumped back into the dating scene after a divorce? Are you interested learning some SMART tips for how to start dating again? Do you want to know how to navigate this new era of dating?
After my divorce in my thirties, I found the world of dating to be a much different place than it was in my twenties. Most of my friends were married and I was unsure where and how to find available and attractive men.
I tried my old approach of dating through friends and the options were limited. I found myself settling for the "nice guy" versus the "right guy." It was time to find a SMARTer approach.
By taking a new outlook, you can also meet many more high-quality men. During my dating after divorce journey, I interviewed hundreds of active daters and happy couples to gather advice, learn new strategies and write a book to share these tips with you. While these guidelines are written primarily for women, men also use this SMART Man Hunting dating strategy.
If you are not sure where to start or how to find the right mate, here are three Dating After Divorce tips that I share with my dating coaching clients:
1. Recharge: Take time to recharge your battery and rebuild your confidence.
2. Reset: Think of your shift to being single again as a positive opportunity to start over and press your reset button.
3. Revise: Open your mind to new era dating options that can expand your home box beyond friends, family and work.
1. Recharge: Because divorce can be painful, take time to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem before getting out there again. One wise 30-something divorcee commented, " It's important to wait until you are not vulnerable. If you're not doing well, you'll attract the wrong guy."
In my new book, SMART Man Hunting, section one provides confidence boosters that can help you get ready for dating again. And as one 30-something Finance Manager said to me, "Confidence is the greatest sex appeal!"
2. Reset: In order to shed some light on my divorce, a Marketing Manager who was recently remarried, shared an encouraging thought with me. He said, "Think of it as your re-birth. It's your chance to start over again."
Replace old baggage that brings you down with new hobbies, interests and friends that make you happy. While making changes can be a challenge, you will enhance your life and dating results by hitting the reset button.
3. Revise: Once you are recharged and have made some positive changes, try revising your approach to dating. My new dating strategy tells you How to Get Out There, Get Dates and Get Mr. Right. While you need to decide what works best for you, I tried Internet Dating, Matchmaking, Speed Dating and Singles Dinners to boost my numbers, ego and odds.
Is this approach desperate? Actually, it is the complete opposite. By boosting your numbers, you now have more choices and can avoid giving off needy vibes. It's time to be selective. Try using this recently remarried woman's advice. She said, "You want to upgrade your relationship. If he is less than your ex, forget it!"
Once you get out there, SMART Man Hunting can provide a 3-step Dating Assessment Dance that includes a Chemistry Connection Test, Quick Qualifiers and a LIFE Match Game. For comic relief and a compatibility check, use the 26 ABC Man Codes. This code book section will help you laugh, learn from true tales and save you from spending weeks, months and years with Mr. Wrong.
While you may be hesitant to jump back into the dating game after divorce, let these SMART tips help you enter the new era dating playing field. Take the pressure off by going to first dates with a light-hearted attitude, low expectations and just try to have some fun.
And if you feel discouraged, use this statement from a happily remarried woman to inspire you to keep dating. She said, "We know we're now smarter because we have an experience to help use evaluate each situation better."
Liz H. Kelly
Dating Coach and Author of SMART Man Hunting
Liz H. Kelly is a Dating Coach and author of SMART Man Hunting. She provides Profile Reviews, Profile Makeovers and customized coaching for singles coast-to-coast. Visit her online at http://www.smartmanhunting.com
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